Thursday, October 15, 2009

26 Years in the Crucible

Crucible - A heat-resistant container in which materials can be heated to very high temperatures.

I've been thinking a lot this week about marriage. One of the reasons is that Kathy and I have been married 26 years today. I have learned so much over these 26 years. As those of us that are married know, marriage tends to bring out the good in us - but it also brings out the bad. Of all our relationships, marriage is truly the 'crucible' where we walk out our faith. Where else are two people thrown into a situation where every attitude, opinion and feeling is tested on a daily basis?

Just last week Kathy made the following statement to me:

"You need to practice what you teach".

She's right. I try and try to do the right things, and I can even do pretty good for periods at a time. But then a day comes when I am grouchy or frustrated or just having a bad day and things come out of me that I thought were dead and buried. When that happens, I usually take it out on her. I hate that. I hate the fact that I can't completely kill those things, and I hate the fact that she bears the brunt of it.

But this crucible continues to teach. And this past week I've learned again two lessons that it has taught me before, but it seems I need to learn again.

It teaches me just how much I need a Savior.

I am a changed man - I know that. I'm not like I used to be. But as long as I'm clothed in this earthly vessel there will never be a time that I can do it on my own. There will never be a time that I don't need Him. There's an old song by DC Talk that says it pretty well.

The disease of self runs through my blood
It's a cancer fatal to my soul
Every attempt on my behalf has failed
To bring this sickness under control


Tell me, what's going on inside of me?
I despise my own behavior
This only serves to confirm my suspicions
That I'm still a man in need of a Savior

It teaches me - through Kathy - what Love really is.

As always, I apologize and she forgives. That's what love is and that is how love acts. Through her I see love not just spoken, love not just explained on the pages of the Scripture, but love actually lived out.

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs. - Proverbs 10:12

Happy Anniversary, Kat. I love you.

7 comments:

  1. Although I had to smile BIG when I read this.....smiling at you and smiling at Kathy....it is such a good point...we are constantly in need of needing God. As Brother Browne used to say, most of us still have a lot of life left in us, we aren't as dead to things as we want to be. Thank God for forgiveness from family, friends and most of all, God. Where would we be without it!

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  2. Thanks for your honesty. What I thought of with this particular blog: I want you to practice what you preach but when it is me not acting godly, I want you to understand and forgive. An age old accusation, it seems. I sure understand this post.

    Happy anniversary to you and your wife. Glad she can be honest with you and glad you can be honest with us.

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  3. I love this! Real folks living real life and desiring God to be in the midst.

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  4. The more I have thought about this blog, I have remembered people who I would like to say to them to practice what they preach, then I think they are probably saying the same thing about me. I have to smile at that. On the serious side, it shows that we all need Jesus and the work of santification in our lives. Without Him, all of us have no hope of change. None of us.

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  5. I have sure wanted to tell others to practice what they preach. I know others have wanted to tell me the same thing too. No doubt, we are in need of a Savior for salvation and need Him in our lives daily to be conformed into His image.

    Enjoyed this post.

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  6. It's my firm belief (after 47 years) that the marriage relationship, above all others, tests our faith more than any. If someone asked me what is the hardest thing I've ever had to do, I'd say "marriage." It's because I'm selfish & self-willed, and I want my way. I'm convinced that learning how to walk out 1Cor 13:4-8 is a lifetime endeavor, and marriage is the acid test. Just so ya'll won't think, "what a miserable person she is," I'd like to add that marriage has also been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life! God "smiled" on me when He gave me my honey. We are total opposites, but over the years we've learned so much from each other...it's an amazing thing, this marriage relationship. Derricke, I can say with you that I'm still learning through Lee what love really is.

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  7. October is a great month for marraiges...Mark and I celebrated 17 years October 3rd. I appreciate your post. Marriage is a wonderful teaching tool of who we are and who God is. I have always found it interesting that God used marraige to describe his relationship with the church. Through my marriage I have learned: how ugly my sin is, how merciful and forgiving God is, how He restores, how He loves, how to be obedient to His call of marriage...I could go on and on about the lessons.

    There has been alot of healing in my marriage and I'm so gratiful that I have a husband who displays love to me as Christ loves the church.

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