Love without Need

In the book Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis has a quote. I won't take the time to look it up and quote it exactly, but the gist of it is as follows:

"Christians can love you more than anyone else, but they need you less".

When I first read that I wasn't sure what he meant. But the more I studied on it the more I understood what he was saying. As Christians, we are commanded to love everyone - not only our friends but our enemies as well. Now this is hard to do to begin with, but as we put on the Lord Jesus Christ we begin to find that it becomes easier. As we grow and mature we find that our capacity to love expands more and more. So I do believe it's true that Christians can love others more (and better) then anyone else can.

But what about the 2nd part of that statement - they need you less? Let's examine that more closely. Each of us has 3 areas of our lives in which we have needs and desires: physical, emotional and spiritual. In our society today, we are encouraged to fulfill these needs through relationships. In the moral parts of society, we are encouraged to fulfill them through marriage. In the immoral parts of society, we are encouraged to fulfill them through any relationship we so choose.

Now obviously I would encourage marriage over the other, but even in marriage there is a danger of putting marriage up as the answer that will meet all our needs. Anyone that has been married will tell you that is not true. Marriage is a wonderful thing, but if you are relying on your spouse to meet your emotional and spiritual needs, you are going to be sadly disappointed.

I'm not a marriage counselor, so I'm not an expert on the subject. But don't you think one of the main reasons that marriages fail is that one spouse doesn't feel that the other spouse is "meeting their needs"?

"Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart." - Psalm 37:4

That is the truth: only in Christ can those needs be met. He is the only one that can truly fulfil those inward desires.

"But my God shall supply all your needs according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus." -Phillipians 4:19

My whole life I've heard that scripture quoted about material things, but it is so much more than that. "All your needs" are supplied by God - material, emotional and spiritual!

So now can you see what Lewis meant by his statement - "Christians can love you more than anyone else, but they need you less"? When Christ is first and foremost in our lives, we then have the ability to love our spouse - our family member - our friends - more than we ever could before. But we don't need them to make us content. We don't need them to fulfill those emotional and spiritual needs. They are fulfilled in Christ. And now we can really love, unencumbered.