If You Love Me

Saturday was a long day. We had our baseball fundraiser at the Rec Park and we were out there all day long. Sunday we went to church and then out to eat afterward. I had to be back at the church at 6:00 pm so as you can imagine, afterwards all I wanted to was get to the house and take a nap. I was only about 4 or 5 miles from the house. That's when I saw them. Two women on the side of road holding up a sign: "Need gas - trying to get home."

I'm sure you've all been there. You've got other things on your mind, things to do and places to go. You really don't want to stop. You know you should - but you don't want to. And that's when the internal struggle begins.

"Somebody else will help them."

"They'll probably do something else with the money."

"How could they let themselves get in that position, anyway?"

I drove at least 2 or 3 miles past them, arguing with myself before I decided to turn around. I went back and offered to fill their tank up if they drove just up the road to the gas station. As it turned out, they were completely out of gas and someone had already left to go and get a gas tank to bring them some gas. I gave them some money and left.

Now before you think I did anything worthwhile, let me just tell you that even when I went back - I didn't want to. Everything in me wanted to just go home. So what made me turn around and go back? With all that arguing with myself, one thing kept coming to my mind.

"If you love me, keep my commandments."

Why did I go back? I went back because I love Him. Did I feel "loving"? No, I didn't. Did I feel compassion for them? No, I'm sorry to say that I didn't. I want to be more compassionate. I want to be more loving. And I believe that if I continue to "put on Christ Jesus", continue to obey His commandments, continue to "walk as He walked", that in time I will become more and more like Him. But until then I'll still try and obey even when I don't feel like it. Because that's what love is.

For I was hungry, and you gave me meat: I was thirsty, and you gave me drink: I was a stranger, and you took me in: Naked, and you clothed me: I was sick, and you visited me: I was in prison, and you came unto me. - Matthew 25:35-36

P.S. I almost didn't write this blog because I thought it might come off as self-serving - a kind of "look what I did". I hope it didn't come across that way. In fact, I didn't feel good about myself at all. What kind of person goes by two women on the road and then has to drive miles past them before turning around and then coming back? I'm reminded of the lyrics of a song by D.C. Talk.

"What's going on inside me,

I despise my own behavior.

It only serves to confirm my suspicions

That I'm still a man in need of a Savior."